Today she is one. The baby we didn’t know we needed and thought we’d never have. The perfect completion of our family and the constant reminder of what’s truly important.
A year ago, Ella Grace Maloney was born. Little sister to Jack (9) and Gus (7), she is completely and totally adored by us all.
It’s been a big year and it’s gone both incredibly quickly (as we have watched her grow and develop) and incredibly slowly (as we’ve also had to adapt to pandemic life with isolation periods, restrictions and masks). Getting used to life with a baby again (it’s been a while!) has been a crazy kind of beautiful. Newborn cuddles, sleepless nights, endless nappies and washing, nursing, playing and just soaking it all in. And then there are all the firsts of the first year – first smiles, first teeth, first steps.
In amongst all of these firsts, I have been served with the most purposeful reminder of why Tiny Nation exists and who it exists to serve. I’ve been able to see the world again as a parent of a newborn, and watch Ella as she’s started to engage with this very new world around her. As a part of this, I’ve realised the true value of the village. Of the innate need we all have for relationships and connection and support.
Here’s what I’ve learnt:
Love is all there is.
Despite the disconnect that has been forced on us at times due to restrictions and isolation, we have been able to value the true power of human connection and attachment. I’ve been able to experience this with a new baby as we’ve navigated our way through as a family and enjoyed having time together at home away from the rest of the world! It’s given us so much joy to just be able to ‘be with’ each other and enjoy the newborn bubble. This has really highlighted for me the importance of the dyad (the pair or relationship).
It takes a village (or a Tiny Nation!).
We’ve been lucky enough to have a Tiny Nation nanny join our whānau and already we don’t know what we’d do without her. Establishing our village by choosing a nanny has helped our whole family to feel cared for and supported. It’s also helped us to be able to manage the day-to-day realities of having three children, each with very different needs. This is why home-based care is so special and such a natural choice for families. Ella has been able to continue to enjoy her own home environment and have that one-on-one connection. Watching these relationships unfold and the attachment that develops just reaffirms what we know to be true about how brains develop and what our babies need.
Transitions can be tough, but relationships get you through.
The working mum guilt is real! What is also real is the relief you feel when you have the right kind of support to get you through the tough times. Our children having one special person that they can turn to when we’re not there has made the transition for everyone so much easier. Routines can remain the same and our children can feel felt and heard and seen in a way that’s only possible through one-on-one relationships and total trust. Home-based care has offered us a gentle and nurturing transition and that’s made all the difference.
Children are naturally adaptive and resilient.
In these pandemic times, we’ve had to socially distance, deal with restrictions and wear masks everywhere. Despite all of this, when you look around you see children adapt, show true resiliency and continue to foster curiosity about the world around them. Perhaps it’s innate or maybe it’s modelled by those adults in their lives who care for them. Nature or nurture, being supported to continue to adapt and respond to our changing environments grows resilience, something that we all want for our children. If the past year has taught me anything about our children, it’s taught me that they are much stronger and more capable than we sometimes think. Their natural ability to ‘bounce’ and ‘flex’ when change or disruption comes along is something that I am envious of sometimes as an adult!
As I reflect on the first birthday and the year that’s been, I feel all the more grateful to benefit as a family from our village and from all of the relationships that intertwine to create it. It’s the feeling of support that allows us to truly breathe in all the special moments, survive the tougher times and know that we are never alone on our parenting journey. Perhaps the first birthday milestone for parents is more of a celebration of the village we have around us, the village that helps to get us through.
So, thank you to my village.
Together we are creating connections and building futures. Is there anything in the world more purposeful than that?